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The Boss
02-02-2004, 02:36
The Boss looks over the roster and her lips compress into a thin, hard line. She gave the information on the new guy to Mr Boss nearly two days ago and he still hasn't added him to the roster. She pushes back from her desk and marches out to the hangar, where she finds Mr Boss bent over a table made from two sawhorses and a sheet of plywood.

"Hey, I thought you were going to update the roster to include the Rat Fink? I've got another application here, too. You need to get on this and get the roster sorted out." :grr:

Mr Boss, who is busily drawing lines on charts, doesn't even look up as he answers.

"I'm busy planning these charters that came in. Just have Marvin do it."

The Boss reflects on the last time she asked Marvin to do something. She told him to fetch her a check and he dashed out the door and came back some hours later with one Mr Swoboda, a Czechoslovakian who was not at all amused by the mix-up.

"I don't trust that walking file cabinet. I need you to do it, and I need it done now." She gives him a look that would have any other pilot scurrying for the nearest thing resembling an aircraft, but which is (of course) totally lost on Mr Boss.

"These charters are important. I'll do the roster later. Oh, do you know if the Aztec has been refueled? I thought I'd take this one personally." He waves a slip of paper at her.

The Boss counts to ten. Twice. Once in English and once in French.

"The roster is important too, and right now it's more important than any charter! So get in there and get doing it!"

Mr Boss pulls out his electronic E6-B and makes a few calculations, muttering numbers in French under his breath.

The Boss reflexively reaches for her priming crank handle, but stops herself. A slight smile breezes across her face.

"Sweetheart," she begins, in a tone that causes him to stop his calculations and look up. "I reeeeallly need to have the roster updated before I can get any more work done. But I understand. If you're really that busy, I can wait. I'll just go make you some lunch before your flight, since I've got nothing else to do."

Mr Boss suddenly goes very pale. :-(

"Um, I've already got lunch started..." he begins.

"Oh, that's all right -- I'll just finish it for you. You keep on planning your flight, I'll bring it to you. Where is that bottle of Worchestershire sauce I just bought?"

Mr Boss's pale shade suddenly takes on a greenish aspect. "All right! All right! I'll go do the roster! You just leave lunch alone!"

"Well... okay. If you're sure. I'd be happy to finish making lunch for you, though. I think there's even a fresh jar of brie-flavored spray Cheez-in-a-Can in the cupboard!"

"Not anymore," mutters Mr Boss under his breath, his mind flashing to a scene from the previous night involving him, said can of ultra-pasteurized cheese food product, and the floor drain in the hangar. Interestingly, the drain now works better than ever.

"What was that, dearest?"

"I said, 'what a score.' Now run along and I'll have the roster to you shortly. Go... polish Suzie. It's a nice day and she's looking a little dull."

"Oh, all right, if you insist."

The Boss, barely supressing a smirk, turns and walks out the door towards her pretty yellow plane.

Philippe Damerval
02-02-2004, 03:28
Mr Boss heaves a sigh of relief as his wife grabs up some rags and a can of airplane polish. Worchestershire sauce and spray brie in a can... his stomach gives a turn at the thought.

Well, nothing for it, then. He had best quit putting it off and sort out the roster once and for all. He presses a button on his flight computer and looks around, expectantly. When Marvin doesn't appear within 15 seconds, Mr Boss wrinkles his brow and presses the button again. There must be some bug in Marvin's OS, he thinks, as he's become rather slow to respond at times. Maybe he's suffering from system rot and just needs a fresh install of XP. Plenty of time for that later, though.

Marvin finally comes trudging into view.

"Ah. Marvin, process the fresh data entry lines for the recent aviation ventures and serialize the essential modules. Then please output stipend vouchers for all individuals having totalized non-null receivables."

Marvin promptly begins clicking and whirring away.

"Nothing to it, really," comments Mr Boss to himself. "Just plain English, I really don't see what the problem is."

Minutes later, a small door in Marvin's torso slides open and an arm extends, supporting a bowl filled with something unidentifiable. Mr Boss wrinkles his brow again.

"What is this, Marvin?"

A burst of line printer noise later, Mr Boss rips off the responsive tape:

CEREAL-IZED MODULE AS REQUESTED

Mr Boss stares at the tape, then heaves a heavy sigh, shaking his head. "C'est pas vrai." :smash:

He takes the bowl and delicately sets it on the table next to the coffeepot. A fresh install definitely is called for, and sooner rather than later. Nonetheless, he must first finish the roster.

"Marvin, issue new pilot numbers to correspond with the data from the new hires."

A moment later, Marvin spits forth another tape:

BRAN 'RAPTORMAN' DEMEESTER: 1004
MERLIN SEIKO: 1005
--END REPORT--

Better, Mr Boss thinks. Maybe he can put it off another day or two. At least until after that charter.

"Marvin, prune inactive pilots."

Marvin whirs and clicks, spins around, and heads rapidly out the door.

Mr Boss, assuming that his command has been carried out and Marvin has gone to deliver paychecks, smiles to himself and turns happily back to his flight planning.