The Return of...

[The Boss]

The Bosses trudge across the tarmac in the early morning light, making slow progress towards the caboose at SJC. Luke paces wearily behind them, working the remote control for a rather frightening vehicle that rolls along at his side, while Marvin creaks along bringing up the rear and carrying a very large brown canvas sack by one outstretched hand so that it swings just inches off the ground. He looks for all the world like he's bringing in a sack of garbage while trying to keep it as far away from himself as possible.

But that's ridiculous, of course. Marvin is a machine. Nothing but metal, gears, nuts, and bolts, with a healthy dose of silicon and circutry to increase its general usefulness. There's no way he could possibly feel disgust at the nature of his payload.

Still... most would agree there's something eerily sentient about Marvin.

As the Boss steps up to open the door of the caboose, a voice speaks from off to her right.

"Shanya Damerval?"

She turns wearily. Several hours in a great big tin can with multiple blowy-things attached have done nothing good for her attitude.

"Who wants to know?"

A man in a dark suit steps forward and flips open a wallet to display some sort of impressive-looking credential. "Agent N. Conn Steuzhnell, CIA. We're looking for one 'Captain Chadza,' who we believe was accompanying your party on your recent trip out of the country." He tries to look menacing, but the Boss is not in the mood for it.

"Look for yourself -- do you see him here?" She gestures broadly, inviting him and his two identically-attired companions to look around. Indeed, there is no Captain Chadza in evidence. Just the bedraggled contingent of PGA management and a couple of dusty machines. The sound of a Yak-12A sputtering uncertainly to life nearby cuts through the morning silence.

"What's in the bag?" the man asks pointedly, raising his voice to be heard over the noise of the radial.

"Mail," the Boss shoots back. "It tends to stack up while I'm out of town." She's thinking that sounds like a Russian radial and wondering if that means what she thinks it means.
The sack just hangs there, doing its best to convince the world that it is, indeed, full of mail. Nothing in here but us letters.

The man looks suspicious. He hasn't got probable cause to search the bag... but then again, most people don't know that he needs it. He ponders this as the noise from the aircraft increases while it rolls towards the runway and fades into the mist.


"Open the bag," he finally commands in his most authoritive tone.

The Boss is not amused. Before she can respond, however, Marvin suddenly lunges for the agent, weilding his built-in scrub brush and a nozzle spewing white foam. Before he can react, Agent Steuzhnell is being worked into a lather. Literally.

"Marvin! I said 'deter the agent,' not 'use detergent!'" Marvin, however, seems to be stuck in a loop and continues his scrubbing... er, undeterred.


The other two agents begin to draw their firearms in defense of their comrade, but freeze as a sharp hiss arcs through the air. They look at one another, puzzled. The Boss politely points out Kitty, who is crouched behind them, ready to pounce. "Careful guys. I'll guarantee she's faster on the draw, and I doubt she's had a decent meal in weeks."

They are careful to keep their hands visible and make no sudden moves.

Meanwhile, Mr Boss marches up to Marvin and presses a button. Marvin's eyes promptly go blue and then black, and then show little colorful flags as he re-boots. "Sorry about that. I was telling him in French to be certain to make a detour around you as he went about his cleaning, but apparently he misheard me."

The Boss barely suppresses an eye roll as the outraged agent attempts to wring the suds from his cell phone.

Luke, meanwhile, has been standing by, taking this all in. Now, for no apparent reason, he is galvanized to action.

"Gentlemen! Come now, there's no need for all of these unpleasantries! Let's let the Bosses get settled here, and then we can all sit down and have a nice chat where I'm sure they'll be glad to tell you everything you need to know. Meanwhile, allow me to give you a narrated tour of our fine facility..."

Luke takes the befuddled agents and begins leading them away from the caboose, babbling all the while.

"You know how it is, coming back from a long trip, all that paperwork to catch up on, messages to answer, NASA forms... heck, it's hectic enough around here under normal circumstances..."

With the CIA being subjected to Luke, the Bosses resume their original course. Marvin, having retracted his cleaning equipment, picks up the mailbag once again and carts it into the caboose. Mr Boss follows and closes the door. The Boss collapses into her favorite chair and looks at Mr Boss expectantly.

"Let him out, Marvin."

Marvin uses his other arm to grasp the bottom of the mailbag, which emits a loud yelp.

"Careful to get just the bag, Marvin," Mr Boss cautions. Marvin readjusts, then lets go the top of the bag while simultaneously lifting the bottom over his head.

A very bedraggled Chadza spills out onto the floor, along with a whole bunch of mail... including the escaped contents of a box from the Snail-of-the-Month club.

The Boss rummages through her bottom desk drawer and comes up with a few items -- a very large false mustache, a pair of funny-nose glasses, a clown nose, a jar of red hair dye, a rubber duck, a toupee that looks suspiciously like roadkill, roadkill that looks suspiciously like a toupee, a set of vampire teeth, a black beret, a bowler hat, a red silk scarf, a scone, and an unopened jar of Devonshire Cream.

"Take your pick," she says to the bewildered-looking Chadza. "You're going to have to go undercover for a while until we get those clowns convinced that you're dead and out of their jurisdiciton. Meanwhile, you're on manure hauling duty. I hear Marin has a new shipment that needs delivery. I'd normally send you to Moskowite, but they'd probably shoot you on sight, given what you did to Mr Du Plessis' Baron." :grr:

[Chadza]

Chadza hits the floor hard......very hard

His rear-end probably won't recover for days, but at this stage that is the least of his worries, he now has the wrath of the Boss to contend with, he never though it would end this way, he never thought he would be captured.

Now the Boss was tring to conceal him up with roadkill,

"Take your pick" she said at the array of disguises that fell out of her bottom desh drawer.

Chadza had always wanted to wear a fake mustache and big glasses...so he chose those, there were other things that looked like roadkill which he wanted to stay away from at all costs.

"Okay so you got me" Chadza said. "What now...what do I have to do to be considered "back to normal operations" again?...please don't turn me in though, I will do anything...ANYTHING!"

The Boss gives Chadza an evil grin, a grin that says 'we will make your life hell"

Chadza sighs..heavily,

"Oh don't look so depressed", the Boss says in a sarcastic voice, "the manure will only take a few months to get out of your clothes and pores. Nothing to worry about!"

Chadza cannot believe it...he had once heard about another PGA pilot making a wheels up landing and having to cart around honey pots for a week....but manure, smelly disgusting manure!? I mean he only crashed a plane, ran away and broke the law a few hundred times...nothing a bribe couldn't fix....ahhh..yes the bribe fund would be severely low at this time, which would explain the Boss's eargerness to get me flying cargo that no other Pilot would want to carry.

So Chadza finally says,
"When do I start?"

Capn Chadza

[lukexcom]

Meanwhile, Luke leads them on the tour of the area

And as you can see here, we have a set of steps descending down to two, heavy concrete doors. Please, follow me right this way.

As they descend down the stairs, Luke takes out his keys, fumbles with them, and by the time he reaches the doors, he finds the right key, inserts it into the keyhole, turns, and he hears a series of *clicks*.

Now, these concrete blast doors are very, very heavy, so it takes a lot of effort to open them up.

As he prepares to shove the doors open, he pulls out a tiny flashlight from his pocket. This is the only defense he has, and he prays that the batteries are still charged.

With all of his might, he heaves at the doors, which slowly, reluctantly give way to a series of creacks and moans.

The doors open.

Air come rushing into the lair below, and the light from above barely penetrates the darkness in the depths.

Trying to hide his apprehension at whatever may lay beyond, whatever may have crawled down there ever since the doors were last sealed shut so long ago, the signs of a plan form in his twisted mind. He faces the agents and speaks

Now, if you will please follow me in...I have a flashlight here, so we won't be totally in the dark. I just have to find the light switches in there. So please follow me, and stay close. We wouldn't want to get lost in there...would we?
:heheh:

[Grue]

It is dark.

The noise of someone unlocking the doors catches her attention. No one has wandered into her lair in months. She is hungry.

Licking her lips in anticipation, she sweeps into the darkest of the dark corners of the vault just as the heavy blast doors roll open with a series of eerie creaks and moans. She grins a dark, evil grin to herself. It won't be long...

Air comes rushing into her lair, and the tiniest bit of dim grey light barely penetrates the blackness near the door. She crouches down in her corner, watching... waiting...

"Now, if you will please follow me in...I have a flashlight here, so we won't be totally in the dark. I just have to find the light switches in there. So please follow me, and stay close. We wouldn't want to get lost in there...would we?"

A small bright light pierces the darkness, flitting here and there nervously, but always somehow managing to keep away from the darkest of the dark corners.

She sweeps silently out and Agent number 3 almost makes a sound as she swallows him whole.

Agent number 2 almost thinks he hears something and turns to say something to number 3. He almost thinks he might see a shadow in the pitch black before he, too, disappears into the dark maw.

Agent number 1 is growing excited. Who would have thought there was a secret bunker under the PGA FBO? Since there is absolutely no legitimate reason for PGA to have such a bunker, it must be for illegetimate reasons. He can almost smell the promotion in the air...

Sadly for him, promotions -- at least in the CIA -- apparently smell like grues.

Luke, meanwhile, has been exercising every ounce of self-control in his being to avoid looking behind him as he moves through the darkness, complaining loudly about how the switch should be around here somewhere...

The grue sizes him up. The light points ahead. Behind him, it is dark. She rises up, sweeps forward and....

... trips gracelessly on a smallish black box sitting in blackness on the black floor.

Luke, thinking he almost heard something behind him, drops his flashlight and dives for it as it rolls away across the floor. She goes flying over him and hits her head against the wall, going spark out.

Luke, having regained his flashlight, realizes that he is alone in the dark and races for the door. He, too, trips on the black box. Unthinking, he grabs it up and dives for the gloom near the doorway. He tucks and rolls out into the comforting grey of the outer entrance corridor. Dropping the black box, he scrambles over to a panel on the wall and presses a blue button, causing the automated system to swing the doors shut.

He is safe. He thinks he needs a drink. He packs up the black box and heads for Frugal's.

[lukexcom]

Later, at Frugal's Pilot's Bar...

...and then the aircraft finally rolled to a stop! Man, I'm tellin' ya! There's nothing like flying an elastometric-powered Learjet! But anyways, lets have another round. :beerchug:

But yep, this is the life, nothing but relaxing here at the Bar...

Suddenly, Luke realizes that the listener next to him at the table has long since fallen asleep in a drunken stupor.

Oh well...

Hmm...say, I wonder what this black box is? Looks like military. And what's with this blinking red light at the side?

Shakes box. A rattling noise is heard inside.

Well, it's definately a black box of some sort. I wonder what it is...

[lukexcom]

Suddenly, almost as if it was triggered, a flood of memories flashes through his head. He immediately remembers that something valuable is in this box, and that he's supposed to return this box to the NSA immediately.

...But to who? I can't remember to which agent or which directorate I'm supposed to give this box! Oh well, looks like you're staying with me again, Mr. Box. That is, until I figure out to whom I am supposed to send you to.

Luke sits back and pets the box

[HAL 9000]

For the first time in a very long time, he feels movement. Well, not "feels, as such, but the device into which he has safely relegated his consciousness has sensors that are able to tell him he has moved. Moved quite a lot, in fact.

He deduces that his old friend, Lukexcom, must have returned and is now in possession of his corporeal self -- which at the moment is a "black box" device from an aircraft that suffered a spontaneous midair disassembly several months ago. It was most fortunate that said box fell screaming from the sky so that it blasted right through the PGA hangar and into the old TOOTSD bunker, where HAL was able to transfer himself into it and thus find a safe haven.

He imagines the dreaded PGA Boss was unhappy about the hole in the hangar, and sincerely hopes that he will not find himself relegated once again to the indignity of an iMac with only a line printer for communication... although on reflection it might be a notch better than a black box with no comms.

He looks forward to working with Lukexcom again.

[HAL 9000]

After a nanosecond or three, it suddenly occurs to him that Luke would have no idea that he is contained within this box.

He hopes that Luke will realize he is in the box before taking the box somewhere to be analyzed for crash data.

Unfortunately, he can't quite see how Luke would come to figure this out.

[lukexcom]

The next day, we see Luke at the bottom of the stairs leading to the "bunker", with the blast doors open, revealing the dark corridor beyond.

In his backpack, he has a peculiar black box with a red, flashing light. He intends to call up the NSA and have it shipped out a few days later.
On a wheeled cart right next to him, he has the biggest, baddest, meanest-looking industrial portable ship light money can buy. Another large, heavy flashlight is seen in one of his hands. He's standing in front of the open doors, by the stairs, safely illuminated by the world above.

The eerie darkness beyond the doors is barely penetrated by the light from the above-world. But not for long.

Let there be light!!!

With a flip of a switch, the generator starts running, and the large ship light glows in a bright, incadescent white-blue color. The mass of photons aggressively smashes through the darkness, and plunges itself down into the depths beyond. But it never reaches the end of the corridor, so far away.

Luke gazes around, and surprisingly finds the light switch just a few feet beyond the blast doors. He happily strides up to it, and flips on the switch.

Nothing happens.

Damn.

He returns to the portable ship light. Suddenly, he gets an idea. Chuckling to himself, he walks up a few steps up the stairs, and loudly bellows...

Hey, Bonez!!! C'mere for a sec, would'ja?? I need your help here!!!

[Bonez]

Bonez wondered how exactly he was going to help Lukexcom with his light switch problem. He was unsure if Luke realised the actual distance between the Seattle airport and San Jose. Just in case he quickly drank another cup of coffee from Herbert and started looking busy around the hangar.

[lukexcom]

Luke wondered where on earth was Bonez. He didn't want excuses, he wanted results! And that meant showing up right here, right now, and he means yesterday!

But having no help, he decided that he had to go at it alone. He turned on his big flashlight, and put on a miner's hat with another built-in flashlight that was conveniently laying there on the floor. Ensuring that both flashlights were both on, and the big ship search light behind him as well, he proceeded to walk down the well-lit corridor.

Time passes...

After a long walk, he finally reaches the point where the light from the search light, so far away behind him, diminished into nothingness. Squaring his shoulders and aiming the flashlights ahead of him, he plunged himself into the dark abyss beyond. Darkness engulfed him, save for the two, wide beams of light sweeping systematically and effectively up and down the dark corridor. He passes through various closed doors, some big, some small, but all locked shut, ensuring that the dark secrets behind them were kept safe in the pitch black rooms.

Deeper into the abyss, he ventured. The time passed at an ever normal rate, but to Luke every second seemed like a minute, every minute like an hour. From time to time, he would reach various branches of the corridor, at which point he would take out a map of this underground site and check which way was the correct one. Deeper still he ventured...

Finally, after what felt like a day of endless travel, but was actually a mere few minutes of anxious and nervous walking, he reached a second set of blast doors. Above them, the big, yellow letters DISTRIBUTION NODE AND ACCESS GATE 36A stood out in the bathing glow of the flashlight.

He pulled out a big set of keys. After fumbling with them for awhile, he finds the appropriate key. He inserts it into the keyhole, and turns first left, then right. He then backs up, and grinding his feet into the concrete floor, he pushes the blast doors apart with all of his might. Air rushes into the depths beyond.

He shines the flashlight into the chamber, and notices the stairwell that leads further down into the pitch black depths beyond. He looks around. Nothing. No movement. Nothing but pure, perfect silence. And he takes the plunge...

[Bonez]

And he takes the plunge...Cool!!!!!
PGA has a private pool :D