August 31, 2004

Classifieds

Help Wanted

LOOKING FOR ADVENTURE?

Pilots wanted for long-term mapping expedition to Antarctic continent. Ski and cold weather experience preferred, but will accept float experience and knowledge of ice cubes. Must have own sleeping bag and coffee mug. Salary DOA... er, DOE. Contact Robert Scott, Box 86, c/o this airline.

Aircraft Wanted

Ca$h Paid for Aircraft Parts -- No questions asked. Contact Butch at Half Moon Bay.

Aircraft For Sale

Aircraft Parts For Sale. All kinds, all conditions. Sources fully documented by NTSB. Contact Oakland Air Charter.

Airplane Parts for sale. All types, origin not documented by anybody. 7-10 day lead time required. See Butch at Half Moon Bay.

Are you used to flying an F-15 and now find yourself pushing your feet against the firewall, trying to make that 172 go faster? Jet engine mods now available for Cessna 150, 170, and 172 models. Mention this ad and we'll include a fully-functional ejection seat at no extra cost. Never have to land #2 again. Contact Oddplanes, c/o this airline.

PILOT INCENTIVES: Pens, wristwatches, coffee mugs, plotters, doohickys, wire coat hangars, paper clips, steak knives, and more! Top quality merchandise personalized for your business. Excellent prices. West Coast HubCap Supply, East Airport Road, Seattle.

WANTED: Roommate to share efficiency apartment. No smoking, no pets, no drugs, no scratching, no tickling, no belching, no nose-picking, no halitosis, no dandruff, no BO, no in-laws, no significant others, friends by prior approval only. Flexibility and a strong back a must. Contact Box 9, c/o this airline.

Have you checked your oil? Of course, but what of your plane's spiritual well being? You've been ignoring it, haven't you? Well, let your plane live in spiritual ignorance no longer with a Genuine blessing from Preacher Jon! Fully FAA or otherwise certified in A&P, P&L, S&M, A/R, MCSE, Neo-Buddhism, Feng-Shui, various "Oatmeal" religions, and Lesser Antilles Toad God worship. Please inquire in person... Look for the "Turban on the Tarmac" somewhere near the airport. Accept no substitute.

Madam Zsa Zsa
Palms and eyeballs read
Weather foretold
Destinations forseen
ETA's revealed
No Charge
Gold or Silver Donations expec....accepted

Madam Zsa Zsa
Tent 5
Half Moon Bay

North Bay pilot supplies. FAA bribe forms, Leatherhombres, duct tape, specially aged shirts, battered leather jackets, broken sunglasses, and WWII parachutes. North Airport Drive, San Francisco.